On this miraculous webpage, I lay down the illest tale of Carlos Valdes, who scored a goal off a free kick against the Columbus Crew once. Once.

Carlos Valdes, of San Lorenzo in Argentina, formerly of the Phladelphia Union scored a wondergoal against the Columbus Crew this one time by launching the ball into the face of this joker on the Crew, deflecting into the goal. This was no fluke. This was a plan. All part of the plan. It brought a tear to my eye.

>ayyyy this is an obligatory paragraph so that I can get in my alignment thing that I have to do.

He actually once cracked his head open and had to wear some ridiculous thing on his head. It's swaggy. It looks like a crown. Because he's the king.

Here's a table showing his career stats from his years with the Union.

Goals Assists
3 1

As you can see from this table, he's a beast. No doubt. Three goals. Some guys get that in a game. He does it in two years.

Here is a link to the video of the golazo.

Click this.